Value Families: Marriage

From time to time in recent years there has been a widespread desire to encourage a "return to Family Values", often voiced by our political leaders on the campaign trail. But before we can expect a return to  family values we need to appreciate the value of families. Isn't it wonderful how well designed families are? I am blessed to have a wonderful wife in Esther and now we have our gorgeous little boy Joseph, it is especially apparent how we simply work together. It so often thrills me how we pull together and so often naturally fall into what almost seems to be a previously choreographed routine, be it caring for Joseph or preparing a meal and trust me, in a kitchen the size of ours cooking together can be almost as big a challenge as raising a three-month old!
There is a tendency to try to compensate for attitudes which subjugate women and treat them as inferior by saying that men and women are the same. Men and women are not the same, and to try to treat them as such only obscures the greater truth, that we are made complimentary. We each have our own strengths, physically, mentally, emotionally and practically, so that when a man and woman join together I believe that we are stronger than either of us would be on our own. We carry each other through the hard moments,and share in the happy moments, making the burden lighter and the joy fuller. It is such a tragedy that marriage is becoming less important in society, and that so many of those who enter into it do not seem able to honour their vows and divorce is commonplace. So it is good for a man to "leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24), it is how were made to be and the resulting "one flesh" is greater than the sum of it's parts.
With regard to the opinion that the wife is in any way the "lesser" partner, some might point to Biblie verses that  instruct wives to submit to their husbands. In a perfect and godly marriage (this example from Ephesians  chapter 5 clearly states that it is the example of Christ and the church) this may be the case, but what speaks to me in these verses, and I challange any man who would use them to be sure of this context, are the instructions to the husband:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her by the washing of water by the word, 27 that he might present her without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Husbands, do you love your wives so that you will lay down your lives for them? Not only be willing to die for her but also to give your life on a daily basis to serve and guard and guide her? Are you willing to love her as Christ loved you?

26 So husbands ought to love  their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

This is the standard that we husbands have to aim to live up to, and it is a calling for the vast majority of men and while some people do have a special gift for celibacy I am very pleased that I am not one of them! Celibacy is a specific calling for specific individuals and should not be held up as an example or goal. I believe that this is a grave error and has been a stumbling block for many, not least the Roman Catholic priesthood. If you are unsure of this, consider the warning that the Paul gives to Timothy about an apostasy to come:

Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, (1 Tim 4:1)

And one of the specific doctrines of this false teaching is stated here "forbidding to marry". This also comes hard on the heels of Paul's guidance on the qualifications required for church leaders in the previous chapter: "A bishop [the greek word used here ἐπίσκοπος episkopos refers to any overseer of the church] then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded..." Such enforced celibacy is therefore in direct conflict with the teachings of the Bible. The correct example for the people of God to show to the world is that of a loving, committed and permanent marriage. 
And so I am happy and blessed to be married to a special woman with whom I can look forward to living out my days on this Earth, For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part or the Lord return.

"Craving the Zeitgeist" - three words that struck a chord...

We are fortunate to live in a country which retains the greater part of a legal system, morality and ethical code which has been developed over many centuries with great influence from the Church, maintaining a moral base-line independent of the political turmoil which has often shaken the land. Some of the statements coming from those in "authority" within the Church of England in recent years have been blatantly in opposition to Scripture and therefore have been rejected by many bible-believing Christians. If the church will not stand up for what it believes in, what will it stand for? And if those teachings of the church are dispensable, what of the others? It is small wonder that C of E congregations are dwindling. If she has stopped believing, why should those seeking God go to her to find Him?

David Elliott, a former Anglican minister in Reading, has left the church of England this week, accusing it of "...surrendering its birthright by craving the Zeitgeist" (Zeitgeist is a word of German origin which can be rendered "spirit of the age" and refers to the moral, social and political trends and fashions of the current time). While I fear he may have only swapped one set of unsatisfactory doctrinal standpoints for another by joining himself to the Roman Catholic Ordinariate, I believe he has put his finger on an issue which should be of great concern to the Church in the West today. Are many congregations from all denominations diminishing their witness by attempting to conform to the fashions and persuasions of the world? Do we dilute the fullness of the gospel message that's been given to us, so as not to offend and in the process we win men for a wholesome social club rather than for Christ? If we arrange our musicians and polish our performances as if for a concert, are we worshipping Christ or entertaining men? Are we, in whatever measure, craving the Zeitgeist? John wrote in his first epistle "Do not love the world, or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." Or do we imagine that the word of God needs our editing and annotation to be acceptable? Take this thought from A.W. Tozer, here leaning on another, earlier preacher:

Here is the authoritative voice that needs no editing, no explaining; it only needs to be released. Charles H. Spurgeon, the preacher from London, was invited to come to the United States to give a series of ten lectures in defense of the Bible. He wired back, "I will not come. The Bible needs no defense." Turn it loose and, like a lion, it will defend itself. I believe that and I believe the Word of God needs no defense. We only need to preach it.

Not everyone who hears will receive it. Some will hate us and of those the Lord said "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you." (John 15:18)

Dipping a toe...

Following much encouragement from my dear wife, here is my first attempt at a blog. Having given a lot of thought to what I would blog about and failing to come up with anything, I'm going to start with exactly that for my subject material: anything! be it comic or serious, sacred or secular, profound or nonsensical. At least until I work out what I'm really doing on here!

• The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him

A large part of my life at the moment  is my little boy, Joseph, so these posts will naturally reflect that. I know that I'm biased, but he is the sweetest little fellow! Just a few short years ago I would never have believed that I could have enjoyed fatherhood so much. After a stressful day at work his smile can wipe away a bad mood and brighten me up no end. OK, he has his moments, but generally speaking I think we've been blessed with a very well behaved and happy little baby. Best of all, he really seems to appreciate having a total loon for a dad. Even changing a nappy can be a tremendous source of entertainment for both of us. At the time of writing this he has just turned three months old and sometimes those three months feel like three days. At other times it's like he's always been part of my life. Now I need to be a father and hope to raise him as best as I can. Make no mistake, when I speak of being a father I am not talking about mere biological fact. I have to be so much more to him than the source of part of his genetic material! I have been fortunate enough in my life to experience the love of a wonderful dad who loved me from the cradle, and to have gained the experience of the love of another Father in Heaven. Now the responsibility falls to me to live up to the example of the first and to help him enter into the second. In the process I hope to grow with him.

I suggest that anybody reading this who wants to learn a bit more of our adventures with Joseph so far reads Esther's new mum diary.