Value Families: Marriage

From time to time in recent years there has been a widespread desire to encourage a "return to Family Values", often voiced by our political leaders on the campaign trail. But before we can expect a return to  family values we need to appreciate the value of families. Isn't it wonderful how well designed families are? I am blessed to have a wonderful wife in Esther and now we have our gorgeous little boy Joseph, it is especially apparent how we simply work together. It so often thrills me how we pull together and so often naturally fall into what almost seems to be a previously choreographed routine, be it caring for Joseph or preparing a meal and trust me, in a kitchen the size of ours cooking together can be almost as big a challenge as raising a three-month old!
There is a tendency to try to compensate for attitudes which subjugate women and treat them as inferior by saying that men and women are the same. Men and women are not the same, and to try to treat them as such only obscures the greater truth, that we are made complimentary. We each have our own strengths, physically, mentally, emotionally and practically, so that when a man and woman join together I believe that we are stronger than either of us would be on our own. We carry each other through the hard moments,and share in the happy moments, making the burden lighter and the joy fuller. It is such a tragedy that marriage is becoming less important in society, and that so many of those who enter into it do not seem able to honour their vows and divorce is commonplace. So it is good for a man to "leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24), it is how were made to be and the resulting "one flesh" is greater than the sum of it's parts.
With regard to the opinion that the wife is in any way the "lesser" partner, some might point to Biblie verses that  instruct wives to submit to their husbands. In a perfect and godly marriage (this example from Ephesians  chapter 5 clearly states that it is the example of Christ and the church) this may be the case, but what speaks to me in these verses, and I challange any man who would use them to be sure of this context, are the instructions to the husband:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her by the washing of water by the word, 27 that he might present her without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Husbands, do you love your wives so that you will lay down your lives for them? Not only be willing to die for her but also to give your life on a daily basis to serve and guard and guide her? Are you willing to love her as Christ loved you?

26 So husbands ought to love  their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

This is the standard that we husbands have to aim to live up to, and it is a calling for the vast majority of men and while some people do have a special gift for celibacy I am very pleased that I am not one of them! Celibacy is a specific calling for specific individuals and should not be held up as an example or goal. I believe that this is a grave error and has been a stumbling block for many, not least the Roman Catholic priesthood. If you are unsure of this, consider the warning that the Paul gives to Timothy about an apostasy to come:

Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, (1 Tim 4:1)

And one of the specific doctrines of this false teaching is stated here "forbidding to marry". This also comes hard on the heels of Paul's guidance on the qualifications required for church leaders in the previous chapter: "A bishop [the greek word used here ἐπίσκοπος episkopos refers to any overseer of the church] then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded..." Such enforced celibacy is therefore in direct conflict with the teachings of the Bible. The correct example for the people of God to show to the world is that of a loving, committed and permanent marriage. 
And so I am happy and blessed to be married to a special woman with whom I can look forward to living out my days on this Earth, For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part or the Lord return.